Caldwell county jail princeton ky

4 team teaser . The Xavier/Texas game had me sweating till the last second. They just covered .

2023.03.25 09:37 NoDayTrades- 4 team teaser . The Xavier/Texas game had me sweating till the last second. They just covered .

4 team teaser . The XavieTexas game had me sweating till the last second. They just covered . submitted by NoDayTrades- to sportsbetting [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 08:20 Old_Heart_7780 The Murder Sheet Monotones

There’s a recent post floating around with respect to what the Murder Sheet couple said in their March 20, 2023 podcast:
“last Monday at 4:13 PM The Delphi Murders: Kegan Kline's Proposed Change of Plea Hearing”
With all due respect to the OP and her thoughts on the couples comments. I think you have to listen yourself and make your own opinion on what they said, and what they meant. It did make for a good discussion— that’s for sure. And honestly I think that’s what it’s all about.
Just wanted to go over it because it sounds to me Kevin and Aine are telling people not to read too much into the River search and some of the events leading up to Richard Allen’s arrest. It’s odd they would suddenly start telling people to not read too much into the custody transfer of Junior to the ISP, the Wabash River search, granny’s backyard burn pit search, and Richard Allen’s backyard pile of ashes— which ultimately led to Allen’s arrest.
Strange the couple with the podcast and bevy of Delphi leaks would suddenly be telling everyone not to do any speculating themselves. Who are they talking to? So they really think the public at large shouldn’t speculate like they speculate? We can’t put two and two together and come up with three?
This is an excerpt from a post I made back on January 20, 2023 with respect to some of the Murder Sheets reporting that was made regarding the River search and granny’s backyard burn pit search:
The Wabash River Search started on 8/19/2022 and ended on 9/28/2022. We know the River search ended and next thing the ISP investigators were focused on was backyard ashes in Peru and Delphi.
News story regarding the Wabash River search and a certain someone’s mothers backyard burn pit
Fox59 by Russ McQuaid
”About the same time the original hearing was scheduled we saw some pretty intense searches going on, a search of the Wabash River and the search of the fire pit at the home of Kegan Kline’s grandparents,” said Kevin Greenlee, an attorney, and host of the podcast THE MURDER SHEET which has delved into the Delphi murders. “Perhaps those searches were not as successful as they might like.”
The search behind grandma’s house started sometime in early October 2022 and was immediately followed by Allen’s backyard search that took place on 10/13/2022.
Quote from an article in the New York Post dated 11/22/2022 by Haley Brown and Ken Kessler.
“They were definitely snooping around a lot at the fire pit and at the backyard,” a neighbor said, who described “lots of flashlights, lots of pictures, lots of sifting.”
The neighbors couldn’t make sense of why the fire pit was being examined at the time, saying “we never really see them burn things.”
We don’t know what was found but we can speculate from the photos being taken they found something. The obvious things they would have destroyed is anything that may have the girls DNA and their own DNA on it: s Clothing, jackets, hoodies, gloves, boots, hats, ski mask, seat cover, floor mats, etc..
It doesn’t take much common sense to know exactly why they were searching through someone’s mothers backyard burn pit. It didn’t take them long to move from one burn pit to the next. Peru, Indiana to Delphi, Indiana. The backyard on Paw Paw Pike to the backyard on Whiteman Rd. There is no mistaking who the FBI and the ISP is looking at. He has a violent criminal history. He was downloading the type of CSAM that will get you 20 years in a state penitentiary. He had a lot to lose if anyone went to their parents or the police with what they were doing to LIbby and Libby’s friend. Not long after murdering two teenage girls he was in Galveston, Indiana using the same ski mask he possibly used on RL’s land. Trust me it’s not the son they are after—- it’s the dad. The same guy that according to his own son he has held a gun on both him and his mother. How many people have we read about so far in this investigation that have held a gun on their own child and the mother of their only child? Could that same panicked UAW man hold a gun on two teenager’s, and do what he did to save his pedophile loser ass from going to jail the rest of his life?
So I’m gathering Aine and Kevin are telling people to not put stock in juniors CSAM case producing a plea deal that helps with the Delphi case. Personally I think any plea deal Junior would make with respect to Delphi would be based on his involvement in the murders. In other words he’s going to have to tell what he knows and what he did that day. The CSAM charges he’s facing are an entirely separate criminal investigation. Could there once have been a plea deal to plead guilty on the CSAM— in order to make a plea deal on Delphi once the CSAM charges are signed and sealed? Who knows.
But why are the MS Monotone’s suddenly telling us to not speculate on anything relating to that River search and those ash sifting searches in the backyards?
I know I was commenting along with another Redditor 8-9 months ago about a possible burn barrel behind the Canal Street house. Same with evidence being thrown in the Wabash River behind that Canal Street house. Coincidently they did find a loaded .38 within 1400’ of the river frontage behind the Canal Street. At least that’s what we know from an article about the 2019 Annual DeTrash the Wabash cleanup campaign. Junior was playing with a .38 and taking pictures of it to post to his Twitter. Another huge coincidence? Is it wrong to speculate he threw the knife in the River, too.
Not sure what they found in the Wabash River below the Kelly Street bridge, but I know it wasn’t nothing— I speculate it was somebody’s hunting knife. I also think they burned clothing, footwear and anything that could have incriminating DNA on it— behind the two respective homes some 40 miles apart. It is common sense to put the chain of events together. It’s common sense to think the guy who admits to chatting with Libby online that day—- somebody that had been catfishing her and her friends all that winter— somehow are logically connected to the murders of these two young girls.
I still haven’t figured out the Murder Sheet Monotones. Are they some secret undercover couple that’s been colluding with investigators this whole time. Are they part of a complex plan to out the men responsible for tricking two girls into walking to the isolated south end of one extremely dangerous bridge.
I think everyone could agree this is one strange murder investigation. I did watch a short Carroll County administrator meeting were they were arguing over $5000 extra to help with Allen’s prosecution. Heck I think we should start a GoFundMe page for the prosecution if the state of Indiana is not going to pony up with some dollars. I’d put up $100 to help prosecute the little troll man murderer if I knew it’d help.
I’d even throw in an extra $20 for McLelland to get a haircut. The Don Johnson look went out in the 80’s for shits sake. What the hell is in the water there?
submitted by Old_Heart_7780 to Delphitrial [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 05:28 GettysburgMaam Ya'll Squad drops $100K in RELIEF DONATIONS!!!!!!!!!!

Ya'll Squad drops $100K in RELIEF DONATIONS!!!!!!!!!! submitted by GettysburgMaam to RyanHallYall [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:39 Hyasfuq We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee

submitted by Hyasfuq to policebrutality [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:39 Hyasfuq We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee

We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee submitted by Hyasfuq to TooManyBadApples [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:38 Hyasfuq We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee

We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee submitted by Hyasfuq to Bad_Cop_No_Donut [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:38 Hyasfuq We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee

We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee submitted by Hyasfuq to ACAB [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:38 Hyasfuq We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee

We Aren't Arresting You, We're Just Taking You To Jail - Torrance County Sheriff David Frazee submitted by Hyasfuq to Fuck_This_Guy [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 04:23 jobear998 Accused and set up for elderly abuse and weapon brandishing

I (22F) have been set up by my aunt and grandparents into an elderly abuse and weapon brandishing charge. They have been mentally and physically abusing me ever since I can remember and I got dirt on them laundering money for their business and drug dealing. They found out that I knew and made my life completely miserable.
I threatened to report their illegal work to the enforcement and they retaliated by setting me up. They got physically and forced me to pick up a nearby hammer in self defense in which i used to smash objects around me in order to keep them at a distance. I didn’t realize they had a camera setup for the entire ordeal and my grandpa faked an injury in which they called the cops and I was taken into custody. I stayed at the county jail over night and got out without having to post bail.
I am now lost and have no idea what to do as my court date is some time mid May.
I tried talking to multiple lawyers and all have stated that this is a complex case and the most they can do is try to NOT get a felony charge.
Is there any out to this or will this be my best bet?
Thank you in advance
submitted by jobear998 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 03:28 Sadishist County jails ill-equipped to handle mental health issues

submitted by Sadishist to pittsburgh [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 03:03 NoGuard6147 At the point Kshordy told the judge he was referred to as “send ‘‘em home Salem” he was f*cked

I wish someone in Kshordy’s defense would have told him to leave that part out. Once a Duval county judge is known for being soft on crime in this political climate his career is over . Kshordy said in open court that everyone in jail referred to the judge as send ‘em home Salem the judge didn’t have a choice but to bury his ass. Why would his lawyer allow him to say that sh*t is beyond me!
submitted by NoGuard6147 to DuvalCounty [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 01:37 Revolutionary_Bit325 Will I even get through academy screening?

22 years old, dropped out of HS so I could work full time, got my GED shortly after with high enough scores to get college credits just from the test, I can pass any physical exam (I do have a metal rod in my left ankle from sports), I have 1 speeding ticket and 1 night in county jail for an unpaid ticket when I was 18. No felonies, no drug arrests, no big time debt, etc. I just want to help my community, I’ve met some bad cops that make me want to fight that stereotype, and I’ve met some good cops that make me want to join up. I’m gonna level with you, as a 22 year old i used to smoke a lot of weed… anyone my age has, if not they’re lying. If this disqualifies me then that’s a load of shit.
submitted by Revolutionary_Bit325 to AskLEO [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 01:22 Training-Detective-3 midwest asian loses any and all hope for T20s

Intended Major(s): Economics, Government, some business schools as well (varied between schools)
Standardized Testing
List the highest scores earned and all scores that were reported.
List all extracurricular involvements, including leadership roles, time commitments, major achievements, etc.
  1. State FBLA, Vice President: elected in a state of 3,500+; upkept every aspect of organization's online presence, planned and conducted state conference for 1,800+ members
  2. School FBLA, President: nationals top 10, state champ, nationals qualifier x3
  3. Online intl. debate organization of 800+, Founder & President: spent hours organizing and arranging debate seminars, councils, and comps.
  4. Model UN, Executive Officer: unfortunately we only attend one intl. conference per year, but I've earned an award at every conference we've attended
  5. Regional voter registration, Founder and Chair: worked with local elected officials and party organizations to direct non-partisan voter registration in my area
  6. Local political org, Communications Director: wrote press releases, worked with elected officials to coordinate campaign/volunteer opportunities
  7. Volunteer teacher's assistant for middle school math class, created student database for 3 classes, graded exams every week and helped reinforce important learning concepts
  8. State representative campaign, Volunteer then Intern: systematized county candidate database, tracked constituent issues, led weekly canvasses/phone banks
  9. Social Studies Honor Society, executive officer: organize and direct annual Trivia Bowl, promote and advocate for civic engagement
  10. School Literary Magazine, editor: edited and rated pieces to be considered for publication, nothing special
  11. UChicago Summer Immersion, student: studied econ through quantitative experiments, culminated in paper on competitive price discrimination
  12. Self-directed research: researched wealth inequality in my local city through a human-rights lens, offered policy proposals
List all awards and honors submitted on your application.
  1. National Merit Semifinalist
  2. Local youth service award winner, nominated by school and recognized by local navy council
  3. Presidential Volunteer Service Award (Bronze)
  4. Outstanding Del, Model UN international conference (highest honor, doesn't award best del)
  5. FBLA Top 10 Nationals
Letters of Recommendation (FERPA exists so I'm guessing)
Government teacher- 7/10. Wasn't worried about this one until I received four rejections this week. Doesn't know me super well, but assumed she'd write an okay letter. Not sure anymore.
English teacher - 9/10. I know she wrote some unique things about me, and she is a FANTASTIC writer, so I really trust that she wrote it well
School FBLA advisor - 9/10. The teacher I'm closest to, knows me extremely well and is aware of everything I've done for the club and on the state level.
Counselor- 7/10. Wrote my nomination letter for a service award (which I did get), so I heard a blurb of what he wrote about me, and it sounded pretty good; it should be pretty standard, but nothing that could've hurt me
UPenn- 8/10, interviewer was sweet and I felt like I said everything I could've, but I did screw up one question which could've been important (How do you find a balance between your academic and social life, super important to Penn culture)- freaked out and gave a super generic answer
Georgetown- 6/10, had internet connections on my end, so we had to move to a phone call. The conversation just didn't flow as well as I wanted it to, and Georgetown is one of my dream schools, so I'm really upset
Harvard- 8/10, interview was standard, was actually pretty disappointed in my interviewer- didn't ask any interesting questions and guided my interview in a very boring way. She was super sweet though, just didn't feel like I did the best I could've
Princeton- 12/10, absolutely perfect. My interviewer was older, but I felt super calm throughout the whole thing and was very happy with how I handled all the answers. He told me he's rooting for me to get admission, knows I'll have a lot of options (lol he was wrong!) and that I'll choose Princeton out of all of them :)
Cornell- 6/10, not evaluative, interviewer was older and barely knew anything about the school now, so didn't get me excited or anything
Northwestern- 9/10, interviewer was the absolute best, would even tell me what he'd write on my report as I spoke, very casual conversation and felt very good about it
Decisions (unbelievably disappointed and want to cry):
Waiting on:
At this point, I'm completely done and have lost any kind of hope I could've had of getting a T20. USC came as a massive shock, especially considering I'm a National Merit Finalist. Same with WashU, I did the video portfolio and everything, and it didn't work out. Extremely disappointed and feel like everything I've done was for nothing. I'm still in complete shock and genuinely don't think I can go back to school after spring break.
submitted by Training-Detective-3 to collegeresults [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 01:00 cbbBot [Game Thread] #15 Princeton @ #6 Creighton (09:00 PM ET)

Princeton 75 @ 86 Creighton - FINAL

NCAA Basketball

Index Thread for March 24, 2023
Princeton #15 Princeton (23-9) @ Creighton #6 Creighton (24-12)
Tip-Off: 09:27 PM ET
Venue: KFC Yum! Center, Louisville, KY
Spread: CREI -10.0 O/U: 141.0
Game Info: ESPN
Television: TBS
Recent Plays:
Time Princeton Creighton Play
0:00 75 86 End of Game
0:19 75 86 Creighton Timeout
0:25 75 86 Ben Shtolzberg Defensive Rebound.
0:25 75 86 Xaivian Lee missed Free Throw.
0:25 75 86 Xaivian Lee made Free Throw.
Princeton 46.2 42.9 60.0 26 5 13 3 0 5 17
Creighton 58.2 37.5 81.3 37 5 18 2 4 13 11
Thread Notes:
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Last Updated: 2023-03-25 00:04:47 EDT
submitted by cbbBot to CollegeBasketball [link] [comments]

2023.03.25 00:29 WildVirtue That feeling when you so want the news of the Unabomber's arrest to be a mistake that you produce an hour long conspiracy documentary lol

That feeling when you so want the news of the Unabomber's arrest to be a mistake that you produce an hour long conspiracy documentary lol submitted by WildVirtue to agedlikemilk [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 23:12 Sipex6484 Weekly test of the 1961 Thunderbolt Air Raid Siren atop the Pinellas County Jail. This siren is a remnant of the Pinellas Park Civil Defense siren system. One of two, this is the only operation siren that survives.

submitted by Sipex6484 to ClearwaterFl [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 22:25 Sure_Wall_9107 Lucci refused to sign the subpoena to snitch on Thug in court 💯

Lucci refused to sign the subpoena to snitch on Thug in court 💯 submitted by Sure_Wall_9107 to Atlantology [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 22:00 JhonnatanVazquez need some help

Hi guys I'm new to installing mods on a dedicated server I know how to add mod ids and workshopsitems but when I want to add some maps I can't here is what I did could you tell me if I did something wrong? I use a server from nitrado
Map=ApexMap;Applebran;Ashenwood;AutoShop;AutoShopLouisville;AutoShopMarchRidge;AutoShopValleyStation;BedfordFalls;BendysBunker;Blackwood;Blueberry;Chernaville;Chinatown;ChristmasVillage;CONResearchTesting;Coryerdon;DeadinHongKong;EdsAutoSalvage;EerieCountry;EkronFarmhouse;ElysiumIsland;ExclusionZone;Fort Rock Ridge;FortBenning;FortKnox;FortRedstone;Frankfort;Grapeseed;Greenleaf;HeavensHill;Hopewell;IndustryArea;Kingsmouth;LakeIvyTownship;LimitedArea;LittleTownship;Mansion;MarchRidgeExpansion;McCoysBunker;MilitaryAirport;MilitaryComplex;MonmouthCounty;MuldraughFireDepartment;NewDenver;NewDenverConnection;NewEkron;Northwest Blockade;OldParkTown;OldPineVillage;OverTheRiver;OverTheRiverSecondaryRoute;Pitstop;Prison;RabbitHashKY;RavenCreek;RedstoneRaceway;Refordville;ResearchBase;ResearchBaseAccessRoad;Riverdeltabase;RiversideGunstore;Riverwood;RoadToBedfordFalls;Rosebery;RosewoodExpansion;Sanctuary;SaveOurStation;Seaside;Silverton;Studio; KY;TheAccessRoad;TheLakeHouse;TheMall;TrimbleCountyPowerStation;Tugaland;ValhallaCommunitySafeZone;Western Town;WesternScrapCarYard;WestPointFireDepartment;WestPointTrailerPark;Wildberries;SH_CenterManorHouse;vehicle_interior;MH_MkII;Muldraugh; KY
submitted by JhonnatanVazquez to projectzomboid [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 21:58 greatdanev Arrested for DWI even after blowing under .08


I was pulled over after leaving a bar and arrested for a DWI. I had two mixed drinks at the bar and left feeling quite sober. As soon as I left the parking lot, I immediately noticed a police officer behind me. I didn't think much of it, seeing that I only had two drinks and overall felt sober. After driving about a mile, the police officer pulled me over. I was turning left when there were two left turn lanes, and apparently failed to stay in my lane when turning. It was about 11:30 p.m. and no one else was out, so I guess I just didn't pay much attention. I pulled over and rolled the window down for the officer. He asked where I was coming from so I told him and answered when he asked how much I had to drink. He told me why he pulled me over and said that I was struggling to stay in the lane prior to that, although I don't think that is true. He mentioned that he could smell alcohol on my breath and asked if I consented to a field sobriety test. I consented and stepped out of the car. I believe that I performed well on the sobriety for the most part, although I will admit I had trouble balancing during the walk-and-turn when the officer was explaining the instructions. By this time, the officer called for backup and they immediately arrested me after the sobriety test.

The officer drove me to the county jail where I signed some paperwork and waited to be breathalyzed. I had never been arrested before and I was only ever pulled over once before, so I was pretty nervous the entire time. I asked a lot of questions because I was of course very confused by the entire situation. When the breathalyzer was calibrated, I blew twice into it. The officer printed out the paper, which I assumed was the results. I asked what I blew, but he said that I would have to submit an open records request to get the results.

I spent the night in jail and immediately submitted an open records request when released. When I received the police report it stated that I blew a .058 and a .062, with the legal limit of course being .08. Also on the police report the officer's narrative includes descriptions of the encounter that I don't completely agree with. For example, the officer stated that I said I drank a whiskey coke and that I couldn't remember the other drink I had. In reality, I told the officer I had a whiskey sour and a gin and tonic. The officer also said that I had slurred speech, was swaying back and forth, seemed confused the entire time, and kept asking questions that he had previously answered. From my perspective, I asked questions over and over because he wasn't really giving me answers to the questions. I also was confused during the entire encounter since I only had two drinks, felt sober, thought I completed the field sobriety test well, and all of the sudden I was put in the county jail.

I've been talking with some lawyers, but even that is overwhelming because I'm told that lawyers are like car salesmen and they always want to "sell you" on their service. Pretty much what I would like insight on is 1) given the information I've provided, this case has to be dismissed... right? To my understanding, I did nothing to break the law! And 2) is this proper grounds to file a civil suit against the police department/officer? I know little about the law, but it seems to me that the officer was waiting around the bar for someone to leave so he could find some reason to pull them over and arrest them. I don't feel that he had a good reason to assume I was impaired, or even pull me over in the first place for that matter. Not only that, but shouldn't he have released me once he realized that I was below the legal limit?

Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think. This situation has been very stressful to me considering that I've never gotten and legal trouble before so any advice would be helpful.
submitted by greatdanev to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 21:58 MermaidA17 Does pierce county jail have full body scanners or is it just a metal detector when u get arrested?

submitted by MermaidA17 to AskQuestion [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 21:41 dumbasscorgi1 Jewish non binary gay’s halfway update

Demographics: White non-binary, Jewish, Competitive public school in Illinois
GPA: 4.0 UW/4.53 W (Top 7% at least)
ACT: 35 (36-M, 35-S, 34-E, 36-R)
SAT: 1530 (740 ERBW, 790 Math)
Coursework: 8 honors, 8 APs by end of senior year, and DE Calc III at UIUC
AP: Human Geo (5), Calc BC (5), Psychology (5), English Lang (5)
ECs: 1. midwest debate director for huge club - organized integral parts of conference for more than 300 people; led four agents
  1. VP of french honor society + tutor for french - led events for more than 70 people, led volunteer campaigns, led 50% of meetings
  2. fundraiser head of activism club at my school - Planned & headed fundraisers as well as promoted outreach, rented spaces, & designed flyers. Top fundraiser grossed $5,000 for women's shelter.
  3. Participated in highest ranked symphony in county; Performed multiple occasions; Tutored and led private sessions with more than 20 younger students
  4. math team captain - High school math team; Invite only; Qualified for multiple tournaments; Tutored and proctored Sophomore team and proctored at tournaments
  5. TA for freshman (first 20 minutes of 3 days a week is spent leading a class of freshman and teaching them about stuff like study habits, stress, etc.); application required
  6. theater principal role for musical (got outstanding actor award which was only given to two people out of 80); multiple lines and dance numbers
  7. speech varsity member(placed at multiple tourneys); Refined speeches; accepted to many categories; selected as top string for two categories to compete in state series; taught bookwork to novices
  8. job as receptionist at medical place (8 hours a week) - take phone calls, make appointments, interact with patients, handle finances, organize placement of patient documents, and give stickers to kids.
  9. Model UN - Application required to participate. Formed blocks at meetings and led papers. Spent time outside of school working on papers and researching
Awards: 1) State seal of biliteracy in french 2) National French Contest Bronze 3) National Merit Semifinalist 4) Speech awards: multiple-time tournament champion, regional 2nd place, sectional finalist 5) Leadership conference (selected as 1 of 4 from the midwest to attend)
LORs: Counselor will prob be average 7/10, English teacher will be very good 8/10, and Calc Bc teacher will be very good 9/10
Major: Economics
Thank you so much!!! :)
Need decision from: brown, berkeley, columbia, emory, harvard, princeton, USC, yale
Accepted: - USC - Boston College - USF (116k scholarship) - Loyola (100k scholarship) - Uwash Seattle (7k/year scholarship) - UIUC (LSA) - Fordham (20k/year scholarship)
Waitlisted: - Uchicago - Villanova - UCLA
Deferred: - Umich
Rejected: - Stanford REA - JHU - Northwestern
submitted by dumbasscorgi1 to collegeresults [link] [comments]

2023.03.24 21:16 twenty_liu When my father died, he left me a box of cassette tapes. I wish I'd never listened to them.

The last time I saw my father, my priorities in life were figuring out which houses on my street would be giving out the full-size candy bars, or how to score an invitation to Samantha’s birthday party at the zoo. So when I received news that he had died, I didn’t feel sad. I didn’t feel much of anything.
My brother, he had moved to London to be closer to his wife’s family and mom passed away a few years ago. Breast cancer. I don’t often think about my father but in those last months I’d thought about him a lot. I had to stay an extra year to finish up my degree and by the time I had graduated only my brother brought flowers to the ceremony.
So it came as a complete surprise when I found out that my father was not only a well-respected psychologist, with books and everything to his name, but also a well-respected psychologist who had left his entire estate to me. An actual mansion (albeit in Maine) with the eight bedrooms and those lawn hedges that needed frequent trimmings. I guess he never remarried either.
I’ve been living at the mansion for about a week now, going through his old things, tidying up where I can. It feels invasive in a way, and nosy, because I’m really just his daughter in namesake only. The mansion itself is like something out of a Disney movie; there are these white marble, twin staircases that wrap around the entrance when you first walk in and I’m still finding new corridors and doors that lead to rooms I haven’t seen. The main living room (there are a total of three) echos when you talk just above a whisper and a single bedroom in this place is about the size of my apartment back in LA.
Despite all that, I decided pretty quickly that I wanted to sell this place, not just because this is way too much space for one person, but because there’s something about it that gives me the creeps. It’s not run down or anything; no cobwebs in the corners or rotting wood beams, and if there are stairs that lead to a basement torture chamber, I haven’t found them yet.
No, it’s because there are these giant velvet wall hangings with some sort of crest or symbol on them that I don’t recognize. There’s a circle and in the middle there’s an assortment of rectangles and a line running through them, looking almost like a circuit board– I’ll be the first to admit I’m not the best at describing these things. One wall hanging, I could understand. But why are they in every single room, draped over chairs and blocking out windows?
And then there are the framed portraits. I found one that must’ve been my father; he vaguely resembled the man I remembered and I could see my eyes in his. But the other photos, men and women of all races ranging from early twenties to what looked like eighty. Who were they? There must’ve been about a hundred or so of these photos, placed all over the mansion and even a week later I’m still discovering new ones in the oddest places. Just yesterday night, I was reading on my phone when a noise outside startled me. When I went to pick up my phone, I found another portrait under the bed.
On top of that I’m a city girl through and through, and here, you get blank stares just mentioning the word “traffic”. It’s also about a twenty minute drive to the nearest grocery store, and all of the houses around me might as well have their own zip codes.
But it was what I found tonight that was by far the most unnerving. I’d just finished dinner - Mac and Cheese with cut up hotdogs - a dish that felt almost insulting to the kitchen it was made in, when I decided I’d spend some time tonight organizing more of my father's things. I had KEEP, DONATE, SELL, and TRASH piles with the KEEP pile looking the most lonely by far.
There was one room I hadn’t spent much time in, that I had only peeked in for a brief moment when I first arrived. Judging by the handsome mahogany desk, the floor-to-wall bookshelves and the velvet green chaise lounge and leather chair, it was unmistakably my father’s office. There was something about this room that I wanted to save for last and there was no real reason for it, nothing I could express in words, anyways.
The room had been arranged with obvious care. I felt a sense of familiarity when I walked in, traced my fingers across these books I’d never heard of, wondered if my father had actually read of all them or if they were for display only. But it was what was tucked under his desk that caught my attention, a cardboard box with a single word scribbled on it.
My name. My father wanted me to find this - but why?
I wasted no time in peeling off the packing tape, bracing myself for disappointment but hoping for something more. Well, it was a good thing I had prepared because I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little let down by what was in the box.
Cassette tapes. Twenty or so cassette tapes, stacked neatly in rows and on top of each other. I pulled a few from the top and they were all labeled with names and a number - patients of my father, perhaps?
Now, I may be showing my age here but I’ve never actually used a cassette player. It was by method of deduction that I spotted one sitting on my father’s desk, and after consulting trusty old Google, I was able to play the first tape.
To protect the identity of his patients, I’m going to use initials here. But I wanted to transcribe this session because while I’ve never been to therapy myself, something about this feels off to me. This is the tape that’s been labeled “RT 1”.
Dr. Ashton: Good afternoon. I’m Dr. Ashton, you must be R.
RT: (Ahem) Yes. Yes I am.
Dr. Ashton: Well R, the floor is all yours. Would you like to talk about what’s been on your mind?
RT: I’m a bit nervous right now, if you couldn’t tell. (Laughs) Too much caffeine this morning, that’s why my hands are shaky. See?
Dr. Ashton: Can’t blame you, coffee is what gets me through most days. I hope I’m not the one making you nervous, I promise my friends down at county jail all say I’m really nice.
RT: (Laughs) No! No it’s not you. It’s just uh, this is my first time doing this, y’know? My boyfriend he uh, he’s been kinda nagging me to do this, therapy.
Dr. Ashton: Mhm.
RT: It’s just. He wants us to come out to our families. It’s been a whole year, so I get where he’s coming from, I do. But my parents, my family. I don’t think they would…
Dr. Ashton: Support you. You don’t think they would understand.
RT: It’s not just that. My family, they uh. Think the term here is “religious fanatics”? (Laughs) Like straight up drank the Kool-Aid, think all sinners are going to Hell, burn in eternal damnation and all that.
Dr. Ashton: But you don’t believe in any of that.
RT: Of course not! I mean, c’mon. It’s 2019. You’d think that by now people can think for themselves.
Dr. Ashton: So it sounds like your family, they have some views you don’t agree with. And it’s causing issues in your relationship. Have you thought about putting some distance? Between you and them.
RT: Yeah. We talked about moving outta this place, to New York or maybe Seattle. That would be nice, I think. Different. But my mom, she uh. Well she has Alzheimer's. And I know in a few years she’s not going to… going to all be there. I know, right? If she knew I were gay she’d tell me I’m going to burn in Hell without even blinking. But she’s still my mom. Woman who raised me. Must be all that Catholic guilt in me. (Laughs)
Dr. Ashton: Tell me about your partner. How’d you two meet?
RT: Grindr. Romantic right? (Laughs) Neither of us were really looking for anything serious, but when you’re one of like 100 gay men within a 50 mile radius and you meet someone you actually click with? It was just supposed to be drinks, our first date. Then one bar turned to two, then three, and before you know it, it’s 4 in the morning and we’re getting burgers and milkshakes at Denny’s. I think the both of us knew what we had found.
Dr. Ashton: And how’s the relationship been? Any issues besides…
RT: Besides the one thing that’d destroy my relationship with my family? Ha! Things are nice, they’ve been good. I work nights and he works a 9 to 5 so our schedules don’t always line up but… we make it work.
Dr. Ashton: Am I sensing some hesitation there?
RT: Nothing gets past you doctor.
Dr. Ashton: Please, call me Gabriel.
RT: Oh uh, sure. But yeah it’s just that… okay so, I like my job. I work security at the hospital and I know it’s not the most prestigious thing in the world and I’m not making the big bucks. But I like it. I’ve always been more of uh, more of a night owl. And I really like my coworkers, y’know? It just feels familiar to me.
Dr. Ashton: Mhm.
RT: But M. He… he wants me to quit. To find something with more “normal hours”.
Dr. Ashton: Why does he want that?
RT: I guess it’s because he wants us to spend more time together? I don’t know. I think it’s sweet that he wants to see me more. We don’t live together right now and uh, it’s really only the weekends when we can see each other.
Dr. Ashton: And you’re okay with that? Only seeing him on the weekends?
RT: I mean, no. I want to see him more too. But it’s my job, you know? I’m not just gonna quit my job. And well, to be honest I’ve always had the feeling that… that he…
Dr. Ashton: That he?
RT: … that he looks down on it? I’m not sure. I don’t know if it’s in my head or… He’s never said anything to me, just wanna be clear. But when we’re out with his friends, he makes these little… little comments. Am I making any sense?
Dr. Ashton: Can you give an example? Of these comments.
RT: Yeah like uh, he’ll say stuff about how he’s the sugar daddy in the relationship. Jokingly, of course. He does make a lot more than me. What with his fancy remote job. We’re not living together right now but it’s something we've talked about. And I know you have to discuss finances before moving in with someone, I get that. But he’s always bringing up how he wants a partner to contribute equally to bills, that he doesn’t want to be supporting anyone. I get all of that! But it’s just something about the way he says it…
Dr. Ashton: Do you feel like these comments are digs at your character? At you?
RT: Honestly? Yeah I do. Like if he has a problem with how much I’m making, just tell me. We’re both adults right? Gotta communicate and all that?
Dr. Ashton: It almost sounds like he’s ashamed of you.
RT: You know what? I think that’s exactly it. I think he might be ashamed of me.
Dr. Ashton: So M, he wants you to tell your family about your relationship, even though that’s not what you want to do.
RT: …yeah….
Dr. Ashton: And he looks down on your job, makes these comments in front of his friends. Do you ever wonder what he says to them when you’re not there?
RT: Well…
Dr. Ashton: R, it sounds like people have always been telling you what to do, your family telling you what to believe in, M telling you that you need to go to therapy, you need to find a different job. Doesn’t that get exhausting?
RT: …
Dr. Ashton: It sounds exhausting to me. Can I tell you something that I learned way too late in life?
RT: What’s that?
Dr. Ashton: “No” is a complete sentence. It’s okay to set boundaries, especially with those closest to you.
RT: I… I guess you’re right.
Dr. Ashton: And R? I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, or even if you think this about yourself. But I’m going to tell you right now, that you are enough.
RT: No one’s ever said that to me.
Dr. Ashton: Can you say it to yourself right now?
RT: Ha. Yeah uh, I… I am enough?
Dr. Ashton: There are always going to be outside influences R, like a close-minded family or a partner that doesn’t see your potential. But what’s important is that you see it in yourself. Because I see it in you. I see a man who has passion for what he does, who values the bonds of family, who desires to love and to be loved. A man who’s deserving.
RT: I… I’ve never really thought of myself in that way Dr. Ash– Gabriel.
Dr. Ashton: Well, that’s what I’m here for, R. To offer a new perspective. To help you see these things that you might not even have known.
RT: Wow, yeah. I mean. I just… You’ve given me a lot to think about. Really.
Dr. Ashton: And right on schedule, it looks like our time is up. I’ll be seeing you again next week? Same time?
RT: Yeah. Yeah I think I’ll be seeing you again.
I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t nice to hear my father’s voice again. A longing I didn’t even know I had. It had been so many years, yet hearing him brought me back to chasing ice cream trucks in the summer, flying kites on those especially windy days.
The therapy session itself, I’m no expert but it was a little weird, right? A little too personal? If anyone has more experience with this I’d love to know your thoughts because I plan on going through all of these tapes.
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